Abstinence

Because my new girlf's not been well we can't have sex yet. I haven't had sex for five months, but now, because I've been told I can't have it, I suddenly can't do without it and it's all I can think about.

I feel like my housemate's bastard-of-a-dog, Buzz, who when he wakes up starts humping thin air and gets his red doggy-bits out. The humping action involuntarily propels him across the room in short jerks. While this is highly amusing - I'm starting to know how he feels.