How to have a bad day

1. Get your dog to piss on your bed really close to your pillow

2. Realise that you've been kidding yourself that the girl you've been friends with for 8 years might want something more than friendship

3. Take car to garage then realise you're going to be getting the bus home

4. Sit in sub-zero temperatures all day with blanket wrapped round legs, hat and fingerless gloves on, looking like Steptoe, trying to be creative

5. Call electrician to fit heater then realise that if he installs it it's going to blow the whole studio's electricity supply

6. Get large tax bill

7. Get bus home

8. Open wallet, take out driving license, look at date of birth