No, I probably won't meet my Match

How to get a bad opinion of yourself: join Match.com. When the good looking blonde from London doesn't even return your wink and the red-haired Milky Bar Kid lookalike finds you attractive. Must erase 'desperate' from my forehead. * Walks into distance to the tune of "It'll be lonely this Christmas" *

How is it possible that so many girls can enjoy "going out with friends or staying at home with a DVD and a bottle of wine"? And why is long hair such a turn off? (Not that I have any - the genes won't allow it).

Now on to the next problem: how to tell someone you've been vague friends with for 8 years that you actually really like them and never really wanted to be just good friends with, without them telling you to piss off and die.