Beesnthings Blog

The Wanderer walking fanzine

2010-05-24T13:15:00.002+01:00

Have a look at my new fanzine about walking called The Wanderer. It's just been reviewed in Country Walking magazine! Unfortunately they got my name and URL wrong so here's the correct link:

http://thewanderermagazine.wordpress.com/

Thanks

Worlds Tallest Man

2009-09-17T11:13:00.001+01:00

Wet

2008-10-27T09:57:00.003Z

Brighton had its White Night night the other night. Good English, eh? It was an all-night mini-festival to celebrate the clocks going back. Its key feature was Wet Sounds, an event where you could go to the Prince Regent Swimming Pool and float about listening to underwater music.

What a great idea! I went along with the idea of relaxing in warm water while basslines washed over me. I expected a near-outerbody experience in the dark, serene waters of the swimming pool.

Instead I froze my arse off in a puddle of chlorinated piss listening to the underwater sound of a clock being wound up – as amplified through a tin can – mixed with the sound of a whistle being blown every ten seconds while hundreds of pissed-up, middle class wankers threw rubber ducks at each other like it was a fucking kiddies pool party and I was nine.

Who the hell thought this would be a good idea?

Chews

2008-10-09T14:19:00.003+01:00

I was in the pet shop buying dog chews. When I went to the counter, a woman next to me saw the chews and said "Ooh, are they for your dog?".
"No, they're for me", I said with a smile on my face.
"Are they?!" she said, her eyebrows arching upwards.
The joke had gone too far to pull out of now. I looked up at the girl serving me hoping for a smile to ingratiate her with the gag but she neither cared if I ate dog chews or was being mildly amusing.
"Erm... yes", I said.
I paid for my dog chews and walked out.

Email

2008-10-03T15:12:00.001+01:00

I just found this email which I sent to the band I was in years ago after I DJed for them downstairs at the Volks Club in Brighton once. It's quite funny I think:

Thanks for Friday night. I enjoyed being told by a 12 year old with a Burberry cap that I couldn't mix and that I was shit and that he could do much better. I also enjoyed it when an 11 year old with a puffer jacket plugged a microphone in and tried to MC, even though the microphone made the soundsystem buzz which in turn made the bar manager come over and have a go at me! You really don't know what you were missing up there!

swim

2008-07-02T10:41:00.002+01:00

Probably don't read this if you're a woman and you go swimming.

Whenever I'm swimming in the pool behind a female I can't help but look up and see their legs flapping in front of me, their crotch showing from beneath their swimsuit. I can't help but imagine swimming right up inside them. Not in a sexual way - just swimming right up into their insides like a fish.

Moving

2008-04-02T15:30:00.002+01:00

I've just said yes to a new place to live. I'm happy with the decision I've made because I won't have to share a house with the woman who is physically unable to keep her mouth closed.

But now I've got that strange feeling inside that makes me question my whole life. Why am I living here? What am I doing with my life? Who the hell am I?

This is the third time in six months that I've had to move house and each time I've had this feeling that I can't quite describe but which niggles away at me and inevitably leaves me in my new room, by myself, surrounded by familiar things in an unfamiliar setting, wondering what I'm doing.

hygienist

2008-02-11T14:37:00.000Z

I'm going to see the sexy dental hygienist soon. It creates such a mix of emotions in me…

I'd rather not go to the dentist but I do get to see the sexy dental hygienist who tells me off for not flossing and who I can't talk to because I've got my mouth full of her fingers and drill and I'm too shy anyway and I'm usually there complaining of gum disease which causes bad breath which I'm breathing into her sexy dental hygienist face which is hovering about an inch from mine as she leans over me and pulls my mouth about sternly and I try to avoid eye-contact but instead acknowledge the sexy dental hygienist that's so close to me as I lean back in her chair and she tells me that this might hurt in her kind voice but I don't want it to hurt but I do want it to hurt no no yes yes

She might cause me to stop brushing my teeth entirely.

Cool

2007-10-31T16:45:00.000Z

I was walking through Stanmer Park with my dog when I spotted a girl I'd been on a date with once. The date had gone okay but I wasn't interested in her romantically. She reminded me of another friend who I've always thought was nice but a bit... well... weird.

As we walked towards each other we recognised each other. She was with a man, obviously on a date with him.

I felt quite cool because it had actually been me that wasn't interested in the girl rather than the other way round. I said hello in my coolest voice and gave her my coolest nod and tripped over a branch on the floor.

She looked at me and laughed and carried on her way.

A year on...

2007-05-08T14:18:00.000+01:00

It's been a year since I last wrote anything on here. So, what's changed in that year? Well... let's see...

Single...? Check. Procrastinating...? Check. Slightly unsatisfied with life...? Check. Dog snoring to my left...? No, dog snoring to my right.

Avoid…

2006-05-11T15:50:00.000+01:00

Like chicken pocks, the World Cup, getting old and dying, you just can't avoid Coldplay.

Anyone remember Automan?

2006-05-03T11:49:00.000+01:00

Essential saturday night TV back in the day. Automan was about a car that drives REALLY fast! What more could a 10 year old boy want out of a TV show?!

UDI

2006-04-27T14:58:00.000+01:00

After a night of drinking and smoking in Austria I woke up in the middle of the night to find that it was hurting to lie on my right-hand side. I didn't think much of it and went back to sleep.

The next day I found these scars on my side.

Unidentified Drinking Injuries!

At my birthday party on the weekend I suddenly realised that my hand was bleeding and there was a cut right in the middle of my palm. This was either another UDI or I'm the son of God.

I also woke up to find a massive red bruise on my knee and a blonde girl next to me. Oops!

My catchphrase

2006-04-25T12:58:00.000+01:00

My cartoonist friend gave me a birthday card with this on the front. Apparently I say it a lot!

Thanks Griz!

Schillingers/girl

2006-04-25T09:55:00.000+01:00

This was taken at Schillingers vegetarian guesthouse with my friend, Danie, in the middle and her rather tasty friend who I never actually found out the name of. Yes, that's how far I got with her!

Schillingers do the best, if not the only, vegan deer ragout! It's a guesthouse right out in the countryside that hunters used to use before going off and shooting things. The owner had a revelation and changed the whole menu to be veggie, about 90% vegan, and now it's doing really well. All the young people in the area go there and it's got such a reputation that people from other countries go there. The hunters still sit in the corner on "their" table and take the piss out of everyone.

Funny how it was only them that weren't laughing though.

Whoa Viennaaa!

2006-04-19T16:09:00.000+01:00

Comedy moment

2006-04-03T10:53:00.000+01:00

Had a great comedy moment on the weekend.

I met my friend, Greg, for a Sunday breakfast. He was going off to meet up with his friend, Helen, my ex, who I was with for five years. I was going off to meet my friend Rosario, a good-looking Spanish girl who I'm just good friends with (honest!). We realised that, by coincidence, we were going to be meeting at the same cafe.

I thought it would look really cool for me to turn up and say "Oh, hi Helen, hi Greg," and then go and kiss hello my good-looking friend (she's Spanish, she always kisses people).

I built myself up to it, putting my best, most confident smile on as I walked up to the cafe.

I saw Greg sitting on one of the tables outside the cafe. Then I saw Helen. Feeling pretty cool I strolled up to the cafe. Then I saw the third person at the table: Helen's partner! I was trying to get into the cafe without them seeing me, I tried to open a door that turned out to be a window, but the only way of getting in there was to walk past their table.

I didn't know what the hell to do and panic mode set in! I think I thought if I just pretend it wasn't happening that would be the best way of getting through it! So I just went "Hello" and walked past all three of them! They all stopped talking and turned to look at me! Greg was just grinning at me trying to pretend that he didn't know that I was coming. I kind of muttered that I was trying to find my friend, but she wasn't in there, so I dithered, muttered some more and then more or less ran out the door muttering that I'd be back later!

It was a proper Laurel & Hardy moment! I may as well have stood there and done a tap dance or something. I couldn't have made more of a twat of myself!

I met my friend later at a different cafe!

I apologised for running away to Greg later and apparently conversation was a bit stunted after I made my brief entrance!

Can't help thinking Helen's partner looks like the Milky Bar kid. But that's just me being vindictive! (Ha ha - you've got an ugly boyfriend that no-one likes!)

Me…? Childish…?

Tales of the unexpected

2006-03-24T13:43:00.000Z

For a thoroughly charming tale read this.

Crayon kid

2006-03-23T11:24:00.000Z

My housemate's a primary school teacher and talking to her last night reminded me of two things that happened to me when I was at primary school:

I broke a crayon, I think it was a blue one, and I was mortified! I started crying and thought I was going to get the biggest telling off of my life by the teacher. I remember being consoled by my fellow six year old class mates.

Another time, in the same class, the teacher wasn't around, so I took a crayon and with a glee hitherto unknown, set about drawing all over my desk. I was ecstatic! I remember being so happy about what I was doing. My classmates gave me worried, concerned looks but I just smiled at them and carried on with my task of defacing the entire desk. I really covered it in crayon! I can't remember thinking that it might be wrong, I just has it in my head and the job had to be finished! I got into huge trouble because of it; my parents got notified and everything and I think I was branded 'troublesome' for the rest of my time there.

Still… the signs of a graphic designer in the making, eh?!

Deep Blue Radio

2006-03-17T10:26:00.000Z

Ha ha! This is my mate Bezz's radio show! He's one half of Solarstone and he's the one that sounds a bit too much like Pete Tong! Bezz and me came up with the phrase "beesnthings" when we were 13.

Where he got that London accent I'll never know!

Fed up!

2006-03-13T12:08:00.000Z

I'm fed up.

I'm fed up with work, cold, and Portslade. I'm fed up with getting on the bus every morning. I'm fed up with my disastrous love life. I'm fed up with spinach pasties. I've had enough of people who constantly talk about themselves. I'm tired of being a pauper in a rich person's city. I've had it with counselling and constantly mulling things over. I don't want to be a navel-gazer any more.

I want some excitement.

I need a life changing event; a holiday, a romance, a holiday romance. I want to meet someone who's as interested in me as I am in them and I want to fall, head over heels, in love, be whisked away to another country where it's warm and where we can make music together until we get old and die.

That's not asking too much is it?

Lakes

2006-03-10T15:26:00.000Z

I found this photo of the Lake District in my archives so thought I would share.

Slightly sad memories of this photo: I went to the Lakes with my girlf at the time and we split up on the second day of what was meant to be a relaxing, romantic holiday. This photo was taken a day after we split up while we weren't really talking to each other but still thought we could carry on with the holiday.

We were wrong.

The day after this, after not getting much sleep, I flipped out, punched a hole in the bathroom door, sulked off into the hills for the day and then buggered off to Leeds to spend time with friends.

Every time I go to the Lakes something weird happens. I went camping near Windermere with my brother when I was young. On the second day there was a hurricane and the tent nearly blew away, with us in it! We forced the collapsed tent into the boot of my brother's car, spent the night in the car and drove back home the next day!

I swear, the girl I go to the Lakes with and have a good holiday that isn't cut short by hurricanes, that's the girl I'll marry!

Ode to a hot water bottle

2006-03-08T14:40:00.000Z

Ode to a hot water bottle
When I first met you
my bedroom was freezing
I need you no longer
I’ve got central heating

The hot water bottle replies:

Oh fickle one,
Can no one be trusted?
I hope when it snows
Your heating is busted.

by Ruth Ibbotson and her Dad who replied to the first verse with the second. Thanks Roof!

Blown all away

2006-03-06T11:39:00.000Z

I recorded another song on the weekend. Have a listen to it at my new myspace site: http://www1.myspace.com/beesnthings (Yes, I have got yet another homepage!)

Badgers sculpture at Stanmer Park

2006-03-03T16:06:00.000Z

In my mind this piece of sculpture at Stanmer Park is everything that sculpture should be.

It was carved from a tree that had fallen in the storm of 1987, so it's using recycled materials and using them properly, in sympathy with its surroundings. There is a badger set not far from the sculpture, so it also has meaning and is relevant to its surroundings. Kids love clambering over it and its really tactile; this is great - sculpture should be for everyone and it should be touched, hugged, and climbed. It should never be behind glass.

Lastly, it changes with its environment: the head on one of the badgers is eroding as the tree slowly rots. It's changed in the few years that I've noticed it. And so it should. Nothing in life stays the same after all.

The lurgy strikes

2006-03-01T15:16:00.000Z

Blurgh! Gastric flu is not nice.

The inconstant gardener

2006-02-22T14:48:00.000Z

Me and my counsellor came up with a great metaphor for relationships, life and everything: gardening.

It's about sewing your seeds (so to speak) and taking care of them, not just forgetting about them, nurturing them, watering them, then being patient in waiting for the plant to grow.

It's also about what type of plant you want to grow; whether you want to grow prize-winning flowers that you can show off to others or if you grow wholesome, nutritional fruits that have a better long-term benefit.

It's also about trial and error. It's not just reading a gardening book, it's writing your own gardening book by learning from your mistakes.

But sometimes, life is a bitch and the seeds fall on rough ground and there's nothing you can do about it. You can give the seeds the best conditions but it's not always in your control.

This is a great metaphor but it worries me because the only time I had an allotment (see pic) I was so crap at it I gave up after two weeks when it got covered with weeds. Look at the state of it!

Mud magnet

2006-02-21T16:49:00.000Z

Juju has got a sixth sense. She can detect mud from 100 metres.

This is a photo I just found of her at Stanmer Park. She sticks her head right in the hollow of tree trunks and has a good old root around in there.

Down the line

2006-02-20T11:01:00.000Z

Presenting the first track from the forthcoming Simon Parkin album. "Down the line". (sorry - taken this down - please listen to it on myspace.)

Simon Parkin: Vocals, classical guitar, bass guitar, banjo, drums, percussion.
Adam Piggot: Steel guitar, slide guitar.
Jayne Freeman: Backing vocals, piano.

Recorded at the Blue Eyed Sounds studio, Hastings, 18/2/06 by Adam Piggot.

I can't believe it! My first proper song! I'm so chuffed with it! I know my voice is out of tune but I don't mind. I'm just so pleased to have done it. And to have played all the different instruments! It was such a nice day recording it. I wrote the lyrics on the train on the way there. I was feeling quite emotional when I was singing it too. The lyrics don't really mean anything, but the sentiment in the chorus is just so sad it made me choke a bit when I was singing! I just love the chorus!

I want to do it again, again, again!

He said… and then she said…

2006-02-16T16:41:00.000Z

I told a great story to my counsellor the other day. It went something like:

"my mate told me about this text he got from my ex and she texted him… and then he texted her… and then he got a text from her that said… and then when he got home he texted her…"

It was at this point I realised that I had regressed to a teenager.

You have to stop and listen to how silly life is sometimes don't you? Don't you?!

A sunny bossa nova (for Tori)

2006-02-16T14:48:00.000Z

Here's the basics of a sunny little bossa nova tune that I'm working on. It's a bad recording and not the best guitar playing either but you get the jist.

This is what I'm hoping to develop on Saturday into a number one hit. Remember… you heard it here first! All it needs now is a melody, lyrics and a chorus etc...

Thanks, Tori, for asking to hear my stuff!

Cavaquinho Kid

2006-02-15T17:40:00.000Z

I've just bought this little beauty on ebay. It's a cavaquinho. A Portuguese ukulele! I saw one being played at the Cardiff Encontro a couple of years ago and thought it would be great to play one.

Cavaquinhos look somewhat comical at the best of times, they look like a childrens toy guitar, but it's going to look particularly silly when a 6 foot 7 bloke with massive hands plays one! Which is why I bought it of course.

Victoria Stilwell

2006-02-15T10:59:00.000Z

Cor! Is it me or does anyone else find Victoria Stilwell of "It's me or the dog" the sexiest woman on telly at the moment?! With those leathers and the red sports car and the stern looks!

I would gladly sit and beg for her any day of the week!

A punch in the face to Mozart

2006-02-13T13:50:00.000Z

I'm feeling a bit emotionally punched in the face at the moment. My friends have been great but you have to sort things out yourself after a bit don't you?

Fixed myself up nicely this morning by listening to Mozart - something I've never ever done before. Now Lou Rhodes is helping me out again.

More glorious tunes

2006-02-10T16:42:00.000Z

To carry on from the last posting… I'm also loving this tune: "I believe in miracles" by the Jackson Sisters. Another tune for the weekend!

My friend Bezz brought it round when I had my introduction to funk about ten years ago after I fell in love with the sound of The Brand New Heavies. He had borrowed a load of records and he came round and I mixed together a tape full of funk classics.

I think I first loved funk when I realised all the best bits of hip-hop tunes were sampled and that the originals sounded loads better.

Who sampled the Jackson Sisters? Anyone remember?

I also remember listening to this tune in the back of an unfeasibly turqoise van (Tarquin) in the middle of Wales whilst coming up on a pill with two very close friends just before a huge thunderstorm came across the valley.

Ooh child

2006-02-10T11:26:00.000Z

I've been panic buying records for my DJ set at the Volks next week. This morning an absolute beauty of a tune came through my front door. "Ooh child" by The Five Stairsteps.

I first heard this tune sung by Queen Latifah on De La Soul's "Buddy". Then I heard it sung in a car by Laurence Fishburne in "Boyz n the hood". It's only recently that I've heard the original. I can see why Queeny and Loz would want to sing it though - such a great, soulful tune. Cheered my morning up no end as I danced round my bedroom whilst getting ready for work.

Somerset adventure

2006-02-09T10:52:00.000Z

It's been ages since I've done anything vaguely exciting. I just found this photo that I took a couple of years ago when I went to a friend's wedding in Somerset.

I camped at my friend's friend's who looked after Juju while I was at the wedding. She was, as she described herself, "an ageing hippy", and I got on with her really well. She had three dogs, one which was slighly volatile, one which was going blind and one that had lost the use of its back legs and was in a wheel-chair. This was immediately my favourite - he was gorgeous - so full of life and character and still did a good job of running wild even though his wheels kept getting stuck in the mud! He had lost his bark too but he was still a very vocal dog. It was like he was talking: "Hough, hough!"

The hippy lived in a gypsy caravan which was parked in a shed on her parents' grounds. And that was it; she didn't want for anything more, she was happy with her life and her dogs, didn't need a man, helped out at an animal sanctuary and didn't really earn or need any money. I really look up to people like that. I don't think it's something I could do myself but I just think it's great to think outside the box like that.

Anyway, it's what I need to go and do something interesting. I haven't even done anything to warrant taking a photo lately.

Virgin Ubiquity

2006-02-08T10:28:00.000Z

More music today with the purchase of the next selection of Roy Ayers' unreleased tunes on vinyl. Only had a quick listen to it this morning but it sounds great! Definitely going to play some of them when I DJ at the Volks Club in a couple of weeks.

There's a great demo version of Sunshine too: "Just bees n things n flowers/ Ooh yeah, yeah, yeah"

Can't wait to go and see him again. Don't think I'll be going to the Caman Islands though!

Lou Rhodes

2006-02-07T16:51:00.000Z

Wow - Lou Rhodes, ex-half of Lamb, has made an amazing album, 'Beloved One'.

I'm going to go see the first date of her tour later this month.

Thanks

2006-02-07T09:52:00.000Z

Thank goodness for friends who take you (and your dog) home and give you beer, feed you curry and talk kindly.

And introduce you to their single friends!

I was a teenage raver

2006-02-06T17:39:00.000Z

Check out my new blog (as if I haven't got enough websites already!) for tales of excess and white gloves:

I was a teenage raver

And here comes that lonely feeling

2006-02-06T11:55:00.000Z

Oh no! I hate this. I just emailed the last girl I was seeing because I saw her in a restaurant on Saturday night and that was what prompted the split-up with the current (ex)girlf.

She's got a boyf… what did I expect?… and now I've got that empty feeling like what the hell am I doing with my life sitting in this freezing cold studio for the rest of my days and living in the middle of Portslade with not many friends. :(

I do need to meet up with her though. If it's only to get closure on the whole thing. Or am I just setting myself up to be hurt some more?

Singledom strikes again

2006-02-06T09:59:00.000Z

It finally gave way and I couldn't go on with the relationship. It was obviously showing to her that I wasn't into it. What was meant to be us going out for a romantic meal on Saturday night ended with us splitting up. It's not very nice, and I feel gutted, but it's for the best.

So I celebrated my singledom by going to the pictures by myself and sitting in the "lonely seat", the wonky seat at the back of the cinema that has only got two seats in the row so that your singledom can't be intruded upon! Put my feet up and had a little kip through bits of it: nice!

I watched Grizzly Man; maybe it was a warning of what can happen when singledom lasts too long. He was obviously going stir crazy with only himself and bears and foxes to talk to. Great film though!

Big Chill nostalgia (brrr)

2006-02-03T13:30:00.000Z

It's hard to imagine while I'm sitting here with full thermals on, a water bottle under my hat, my fingers glowing bright red and the breath clouding infront of my monitor, that I was once warm and that it was once summer.

Thinking about warmth reminds me of the Big Chill a couple of years ago. It was so nice! Just lying around all weekend, lazy sex and spliffs, music and laughter, curry al fresco from paper plates, even Scrabble! I really didn't want to come home.

It seems like a lifetime away now.

Songwriting probs

2006-02-01T10:52:00.000Z

We've been given our first bit of songwriting homework on my songwriting course: to write a song lyric from a title based on the weather report. It should be a metaphor for a relationship.

I've tried to go with "Indian Summer" but all the lyrics sound like bloody James Blunt lyrics ("You're beautiful, Yes you are, I love you, It's true, Yes I do, Oh yes." etc).

I might change it to "Hoar Frost".

DJ Lurch on the rings of steel

2006-01-30T16:53:00.000Z

I'm DJing at the Volks Club in Brighton for Carnival Collective on Feb 17th, 11pm to 4am (what!! 4am! that's way past my bed time!). More details here. I'll be downstairs DJing with DJ Carls Cock. Should be good - come on down!

That's a pic of us at the Ocean Rooms in Brighton last year. I'm on the right, loving it!

Songwriting dreams

2006-01-27T13:34:00.000Z

I've started a songwriting course. Our first bit of homework is to write down our dreams. All week I've had the weirdest dreams that I really don't want to share with a group of people I've only just met.

I'm going to have to tell them the tamest dream I've had this week which was about my friend jumping on someone's back in a supermarket and them pretending to be gorillas.

In other news, I've got my new Mac and can now put things in italics. Woohoo!

"January's obviously not a good month for him."

2006-01-19T13:09:00.000Z

Drama in Poets Corner, where my studio is, as a local garage bursts into flames.

All the streets are cordoned off as there are gas cylinders in the garage which are extremely volatile.

And guess who's car was in the garage at the time of said explosion? That's right - little Burt the Clio is burnt to a cinder. And my lovely non-leather walking boots too.

God damn! I can't f**cking believe it.

I slept with Anthony Stewart Head

2006-01-17T10:29:00.000Z

I got a train from Chippenham to London yesterday. Opposite me sat someone familiar looking. He fell asleep.
"Is that the English bloke from Buffy", I thought.
"Nah" I thought.
I fell asleep as my head bounced off the train window and the saliva slowly dribbled down my chin on to the table in front of me.
"London Paddington"
As I was getting up someone started talking to the man opposite me: "You don't mind being recognised, do you?". Then I heard the distinctive voice of Anthony Stewart Head talk back to him!
I followed him down the platform in true stalker style. But then decided I really wasn't bothered.

Sad things (for Abi)

2006-01-13T10:23:00.000Z

Following on from the last sad post; it made me think of other things that make me sad so I thought I'd share them:

My friend Abi tried a drug called GHB (Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate ) when she was 21. GHB is nick-named GBH and is an extremely dangerous drug, especially when taken with alcohol. Abi had two beers when she took GHB. She passed out, choked on her own vomit and never woke up. She left behind a mother whose husband had died when Abi was young and had had only one child: Abi.

Richard Brautigan, author of classic American beat literature such as Sombrero Fallout and Revenge of the Lawn, took his own life with a shotgun on his ranch in the Montana countryside. He left behind a 24 year old daughter. He was 49.

Death is always sad, more for the bereft who are left behind, but to me someone dying at 21, at the peak of their life, is incredibly sad. But also to think that someone could get to the age of 49 and still not be happy with life, still not have found peace with their self even though they had a successful daughter and should be slowing down and enjoying life, to end their life because of it, is just as incredibly sad.

Sorry for depressing you. Makes you appreciate life though eh?

sad postcard

2006-01-12T10:59:00.000Z

Is this not the saddest thing ever? :(

Lost without Lost

2006-01-12T10:23:00.000Z

Aaaarrgh! What's down the shaft? Where's Walt? Who are the 'others'? What's going on?

I was hoping the end of series show would answer a few questions not create more. I always jump up and down a bit at the end of Lost as cliffhangers drive me up the wall but I had a minor tantrum last night!

Oh it's just great though isn't it?! Roll on the Spring.

PS - If you're American and have seen the second series I don't REALLY want to know the answers to the above questions.

TOTP

2006-01-11T12:44:00.000Z

Last year I promised myself I would get involved in music as much as possible. I got as far as growing a beard (all musicians have beards, even the ladies).

This year I've promised myself I would get involved in music as much as possible. So I left the carnival band that I'm in. Good start eh?! I'm going to pursue my solo career!

I've just bought a new guitar, I'm starting a song-writing course in a couple of weeks, I'm getting bass lessons from a friend, I'm doing an analogue music course in the summer and I'm going to have a go at recording some songs with friends in Hastings.

My plan is to get a band together that will be asked to play at the Big Chill. It'll be called Diarama. Nice name eh?! And, of course, we'll all have beards.

Design skills

2006-01-10T12:42:00.000Z

My graphic design skills seem to be lacking. Just had a client telling me to "jazz up a leaflet" as it "looks a bit dull". Well, I feel a bit dull so it's no wonder is it?!

After five years of having my own design business I have finally thought it time to learn some graphic design skills so I've bought a nice new book of layouts and grid structure. Let's hope it helps.

Ooh, my nice new Mac is winging it's way to Beesnthings HQ so I'll finally be rid of OS9 and will be able to post photos on here. That'll be worth the £400 then.

I've fallen in love again...

2006-01-09T11:50:00.000Z

...with the girl from The Shortwave Set. Just got their album, "Debt Collection" on the weekend - fantastic! Such a great piece of production. Reminds me of The Art of Noise - the fave band of my youth. Best bit of the whole album is when you hear the singer on "Yr room" fluff her guitar playing and then laugh at her mistake, stop playing and try again. She sounds lovely! Such a great song too. I had it on repeat for a good half an hour last night! I haven't done that since I was a kid!

Swwwwwwwweet!

Daniel Kitson

2006-01-06T10:41:00.000Z

Seem to be getting up on the wrong side of my bed these mornings. Yesterday's rant was a bit harsh wasn't it?! Still, people with bad tastes in music should be shot.

Last night my mood was considerably lifted by seeing Daniel Kitson at the Komedia. I've never seen a stand-up with a lisp and a stutter before. At one point he got totally stuck on a word: "R-r-r-r-r-r-r-" and then just said: "r-r-r oh it's not even worth it." You've got to have guts to go on stage with a stammer like that. He was fantastic!

I'm a big lover of crap jokes so the best bit of the night was when he was asking the audience what the word palimpsest meant. With his lisp he could hardly say it, so an audience member asked how you spell it and he came back with "I. T." quick as a flash! Hilarious!

Yawns

2006-01-05T15:31:00.000Z

Ho hum. *yawns*

How do you make a leaflet appealing when you've been supplied boring photos and predictable text? The charity I work for, to make use of precious printed space, make me cram the equivalent of the Encyclopedia Brittanica on the back of a postage stamp and then wonder why the text looks a bit squashed.

How do you be creative when it's freezing cold and someone's playing shit music? The One Giant Leap CD never did it for me - any CD with the name Robbie Williams on it, no matter how well hidden, should never be allowed stereo equipment. Who the hell wants to hear his wimpy nursery-rhyme rapping? Someone in my studio apparently. Either the whingey red-head who whinges at any music that isn't hers and paints like a fucking two year old. Or the Swindon public school boy who likes Gwen-fucking-Stefani and can't start a sentence without a nasal "yeeeah" in front of it, whose speciality is painting women with their hands up their bums. Bloody cloth ears.

Now back to laying out another chapter of the never-ending gardening book. Ah, the joys of the self-employed graphic designer.

*yawns*

The bloody oak tree

2006-01-03T10:25:00.000Z

As equally as I always want what I can't have, I also don't want what I've been given on a plate. A seed of doubt about the new girlf not being 'the one' has grown to gigantic oak tree proportions. I'm enjoying going out with her but there's a bloody big tree in the way now.

A list of moans

2005-12-14T11:09:00.000Z

1. I paid £1800 for an operation that didn't work.
2. I'm still obsessing over a girl who dumped me 5 months ago even though I'm going out with a gorgeous girl who I've wanted to go out with for over eight years.
3. I'm moving house to a horrible area with a couple who are having a baby and are going to want to kick me out in nine months.
4. I'm working in a freezing cold studio.
5. I'm fed up with graphic design but can't see there's anything else I can do.
6. My tooth hurts but the dentist can't find anything wrong.

Oh! I hate Christmas.

Abstinence

2005-12-09T16:26:00.000Z

Because my new girlf's not been well we can't have sex yet. I haven't had sex for five months, but now, because I've been told I can't have it, I suddenly can't do without it and it's all I can think about.

I feel like my housemate's bastard-of-a-dog, Buzz, who when he wakes up starts humping thin air and gets his red doggy-bits out. The humping action involuntarily propels him across the room in short jerks. While this is highly amusing - I'm starting to know how he feels.

OMG∞

2005-12-05T13:18:00.000Z

It's on!

After another 'date' with said girl-who-I've-liked-for-8-years where still nothing happened, the pressure got the better of me and I sent her a text explaining my feelings. What a chicken I am! I'd convinced myself she just wanted to be friends and even when I was sending the text I was thinking: "Why the hell am I doing this? I'm ruining an 8 year friendship." But it turns out she's been thinking the same as me - not quite for the 8 years I'd been thinking it though!

So last night, after extreme nervousness, giggling and a strong vodka and tonic we finally got it together!

It's quite weird taking it to the next step with someone you've been friends with for so long. I always thought it would be easy. I was wrong.

Cor! Eight years! It was SO worth the wait!

Now I've got to despatch 3 'sorry but no thanks' emails to Match.com participants. What a waste of money!

What's she thinking?

2005-12-01T15:56:00.000Z

What's she thinking?
What's she thinking?
What's she thinking?

How to have a bad day

2005-11-28T17:39:00.000Z

1. Get your dog to piss on your bed really close to your pillow

2. Realise that you've been kidding yourself that the girl you've been friends with for 8 years might want something more than friendship

3. Take car to garage then realise you're going to be getting the bus home

4. Sit in sub-zero temperatures all day with blanket wrapped round legs, hat and fingerless gloves on, looking like Steptoe, trying to be creative

5. Call electrician to fit heater then realise that if he installs it it's going to blow the whole studio's electricity supply

6. Get large tax bill

7. Get bus home

8. Open wallet, take out driving license, look at date of birth

No, I probably won't meet my Match

2005-11-28T12:15:00.000Z

How to get a bad opinion of yourself: join Match.com. When the good looking blonde from London doesn't even return your wink and the red-haired Milky Bar Kid lookalike finds you attractive. Must erase 'desperate' from my forehead. * Walks into distance to the tune of "It'll be lonely this Christmas" *

How is it possible that so many girls can enjoy "going out with friends or staying at home with a DVD and a bottle of wine"? And why is long hair such a turn off? (Not that I have any - the genes won't allow it).

Now on to the next problem: how to tell someone you've been vague friends with for 8 years that you actually really like them and never really wanted to be just good friends with, without them telling you to piss off and die.

Will I meet my Match?

2005-10-29T14:48:00.000+01:00

I've finally subscribed to a month's worth of online dating courtesy of match.com. What a great time to take out a £25, month-long subscription when I'm going away for a week!

I've just emailed my first three girls. Feeling slightly seedy after looking at their profiles for the last few days wondering whether I should email them or not. Kind of like looking through their knicker-drawers! I'm very aware that I don't want to come across as desperate (me, desperate, no!).

I can't wait to get out dating again. I'm just not the kind of person who can go up to someone in a club, or a bar, and start chatting so I reckon this is a good way of getting round that initial meeting stage. It's a bad place to meet anyone in a club anyway. You just end up in bed with them and that just complicates matters in my experience.

4 days to go

2005-10-28T10:34:00.000+01:00

I'm going in to hospital for some surgery in 4 days and I'm absolutely crapping myself.

I won't go into what it is. You don't want to know. –This has been my favourite phrase amongst not-so-close friends and colleagues for the last four months. And here it is again – just for you.

I'm terrified. I've had operations before and not been too worried. A weird one was having a screw taken out of my knee after having one put in after breaking my leg falling off a skateboard. I walked into hospital and came out on crutches. When I had the screw put in, as I was being wheeled to the operating theatre, high on temazepam, Grandad from 'Bread' came and said hello to me. He sang "Wish him luck as we wave him goodbye" to the ladies ward he was visiting as they wheeled me off.

Scared. Scared. Scared.

Winners don't use drugs

2005-10-27T12:16:00.000+01:00

For some reason I've become Nancy-Reaganist in my attitude to drugs. The mention of cocaine drives me wild with outrage and hearing young adults talk about getting stoned makes me weep for civilisation.

My last girlfriend did cocaine occasionally. To be honest, you could tell. She was never short of compliments for herself. The night she went off with her friends and did cocaine I stayed at home with unsupressable jealousy, anger and bitterness.

A few years ago, when another girlfriend did a pill in a club, I stormed out, ten minutes after paying half of that months salary to get in.

What in the hell's wrong with me? I used to go out every weekend and do pills, speed, acid, smoke weed, sniff poppers, poke Vick's sticks under my eye-lids and smear tiger balm on my tongue. I went to a club in Stoke a week after a kid had died there of an overdose and nearly did the same myself. I had a part-time job in a warehouse that paid £40 a week and all of it, bar a nominal amount of rent paid to my Mum, went on drugs.

But now I just don't think it's right doing drugs.

I think it just reminds me of a time that I don't want to go back to. When I was going out doing drugs that was It. That was my life. College and my future didn't mean anything to me, I just wanted to get wrecked. Now I associate drugs with that aimless, pointless way of living. It's fun at the time but it's no real life and I don't want to go back there. I quite like having a point to each day thank you very much.

You soon find out that way of life is false when you stop doing drugs and suddenly lose half your friends.

Cheese/bread/marge ratio

2005-10-20T14:18:00.000+01:00

This really disturbs me. Why is it that when I buy some bread I get back and find out I've run out of vegan cheese? Why, when I buy said vegan cheese, have I run out of vegan marge? And why, when I've bought the vegan marge, do I find that the bread has gone mouldy?

For me it's symbolic of the constant struggle that is my life. Like when I'm happy with a girlfriend I run out of work and therefore money. Then when the work comes in I get ill and can't do it. Then when I get better my girlfriend dumps me.

OK - maybe I'm over dramatising. But it would be nice to have a decent sandwich occasionally.

At last... a good film!

2005-10-12T11:56:00.000+01:00

Watched Somersault last night and it's a great film. Just what I was in the mood for. A nice, slow, reflective, moody film. Beautifully filmed; characters who you can empathise with; good soundtrack. Great stuff.

I've seen so many duff, unsatisfying films lately. As previously mentioned on this blog, 'Milwaukee, Minnesota' is rubbish, but also 'Innocence' is a well made film but is so arty that I left just feeling really unsatisfied. Then 'Claire's Knee' is OK but nothing amazing - just a very typical French film about affairs and obsession (the common theme of French films!). Then some other foreign film which I can't even remember the name of: once again, OK but nothing to write a blog about. 'Last Days', a film based on Kurt Cobain's last days is OK, but there's very little dialogue apart from Kurt muttering and it's incredibly depressing.

So thank goodness for Somersault!

What the hell's wrong with me?

2005-10-10T18:08:00.000+01:00

I can't stop thinking about the girl I split up with 3 months ago. I only went out with her for a couple of months. I knew that we weren't right for each other too. But, being a bloke, I only want what I can't have.

I'm such a sentimental fool. The slightest thing reminds me of her. I can't listen to the Kings of Convenience without thinking of her. I've banished myself from town on the weekend for the last 3 months for fear of bumping into her. I found one of her contact lenses down the side of my bed the other day and it just brought it all back and I felt gutted again. She really doesn't deserve to be thought about this much.

I get it with other exes too. Even words remind me of things. I had an ex who used the word 'investigate' a lot. I heard the word on a reggae song the other day and had a wave of sentimentality wash over me. 'Aaah," I thought as tears welled up in my eyes whilst sitting in my car with the stereo on. "Investigate".

I hate...

2005-10-10T12:07:00.000+01:00

Miquita Oliver

She used to be a quite nice, b-list pop presenter; a calm antidote to Simon Amstel's annoying nerdishness. She's now got that coke-sniffer's cooler-than-thou, god-look-at-me-I'm-so-droll, sneering, lip-curling attitude common amongst Channel 4 presenters, Radio 1 journalists, Londoners and my ex-girlfriend when she got together with her friend from London who had just got a job as a Radio 1 journalist.

Incidentally I saw Simon Amstel at the Duke of Yorks cinema in Brighton at a film about gay Jewish weddings.

A heavy night's dreaming

2005-10-06T12:30:00.000+01:00

Jet fighters flying down my street, my ex was pregnant, helicopters, dreams within a dream ('metadreams' as Jeff Noon called them in Vurt), a text from another ex but my phone wouldn't work when I tried to reply, getting intimate with an old housemate...

I was exhausted when I woke up and was still certain that everything I'd dreamt about was true.

Or maybe I haven't woken up...?

Hobnobbing with the stars

2005-10-05T18:02:00.000+01:00

Remember Brookside? Remember Ron Dixon, the shop owner? Remember his wife, Didi Dixon? The actress who played her is sharing a studio space with me. She's no longer an actress and is a painter.

My dog, Juju, welcomed her to the studio by sniffing through all the bags of oil paint and brushes that she brought as she moved in today.

Me & Tel

2005-10-05T14:17:00.000+01:00

I wrote a song a while ago. It was meant to be a kind of country and western stomping kind of song. I thought it was OK.

I just put on Terry Callier's 'Acoustic Soul' and realised that I've totally ripped his tune off! It's so annoying when that happens. I just can't write an original song. I've even borrowed the song's subject matter.

It's amazing how you can have all these tunes in your head without even realising it. I wonder how many songs are stored in my head. I downloaded a load of TV theme tunes from TVCream recently and was amazed to recognise all these tunes that I hadn't heard since I was a nipper.

Caught in the act

2005-09-29T10:57:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, Juju, my dog, walked through the studio with the top of the swing-bin stuck on her head.

She's got a food obsession like only a labrador can. She can hear a crisp packet being opened at 50 metres. It's going to be her downfall. In the past she has run over a busy road to get to some bread that someone dropped. She once got a cereal box stuck on her head. She breaks into her sack of dog food and eats until she's bursting, then she lies with her belly in the air and farts all night, moaning to be let in the garden cause her belly aches and she needs a poo.

Bad film alert!

2005-09-26T11:17:00.000+01:00

'Milwaukee, Minnesota' is one of the worst films I've seen in a long time. As soon as it started I didn't like it. The characters are rubbish and really unlikeable. The acting is tired and predictable. There's nothing to keep the plot going. It's rubbish!

It's one saving grace is that it's a great remedy to help insomniacs fall asleep. I fell into a lovely kip halfway through this film.

I woke up half an hour later and it was still rubbish so I turned it off. What a rip! Can't believe I paid £3.50 to rent this crap.

DVD fever

2005-09-23T13:33:00.000+01:00

I haven't had a DVD for very long. I'm always a bit late at catching up with the latest thing. I've only just started renting DVDs so they're still a bit of a novelty for me.

I rented out Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy last night. Watched it, went through all the extra features, deleted scenes, Marvin's Hangman game and the short making-of film. Then I started on the film with commentary and before I realised it I'd watched the whole film again listening to four people talk over the top of it. Then this morning, instead of coming to work, I watched the long making-of on the second disk.

There are only a few times I've watched a film twice in a row:

The first was Ferris Bueler's Day Off - my favourite film ever. I finished watching it, rewound the video to the start and just wanted to see the Ferrari-outside-the-school bit and ended up watching the whole thing again. All the time thinking, "I really must go to bed. I really must go to bed".

The next was on a flight back from LA when they showed Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. All the films were on rotation and once I'd finished that one there was nothing else I was interested in. So I watched it again.

I had to stop myself watching all of the other commentary version of Hitchhiker's this morning - one with different commentators!

Love Poem

2005-09-21T14:42:00.000+01:00

This morning I got a CD of my favourite author, Richard Brautigan, reading stories and poems from his work. What a find! I've always wanted to know what he sounds like. He sounds really nerdy. Great.

I haven't listened to it all yet but there's a great recording of his 'Love Poem' spoken, one by one, by some of his friends and his daughter. To get the effect of this, copy and paste this poem into Simple Text on a Mac and go to 'speak selection' then try again with all the different voices.

Love Poem

It's so nice
to wake up in the morning
all alone
and not have to tell somebody
you love them
when you don't love them
any more.

Copyright Richard Brautigan.

Memories...

2005-09-21T13:53:00.000+01:00

I'm going round to my ex's tonight to go through our old photos. It was my idea but I'm beginning to regret it now! It's been over two years since we split up and we've finally managed to attain a friendship of sorts. But I know it's just going to get all the old feelings going again and I'm a sentimental fool at the best of times. I get nostalgic for yesterday.

I've got a five year gap in my photo collection. Even though I did a photography National Diploma I never took any photos when we were together, I don't think I even had a camera. It's like I've got a big chunk of my life missing. I haven't got any photos of my ex. Not even one for the dartboard.

So tonight I'm going round to finish off the split. She got the coffee table. I got the dog and the vacuum cleaner. Let's hope we can share the photos ammicably.

Just sitting around doing nothing

2005-09-16T11:04:00.000+01:00

I was sitting at home last night thinking:

I wish I could just sit around and not have to worry about going to work tomorrow and just read my books and stay up late and get up late in the morning and lounge around and make myself a big breakfast and maybe go for a walk with the dog if I felt like it and come back when I wanted to and then do some more reading. I would go back to work at some point. Just not yet.

My fantasy seemed really naughty and subversive.

But then I realised I'd just invented the holiday.

We met at the cinema

2005-09-15T18:19:00.000+01:00

We met at the cinema. I had seen her there a few times before so I knew we shared the same tast in films. Epic, Eastern dramas full of martial arts and forbidden love affairs, sweeping widescreen scenery and mythical, magical characters.

Once, she sat in my favourite chair. Yes, I have a favourite chair! If I've got nothing better to do I enjoy going to this particular cinema by myself. It's the kind of place where you don't look like a complete loner if you go there by yourself. It shows films that you might want to go and see by yourself. It's also got one section, at the back of the theatre, near the fire exit, where there are two seats in a row rather than four or ten. You can sit there by yourself and pretty much guarantee that nobody will sit next to you. So this is my favourite seat for lone-viewing.

So, there she was, sat in my favourite chair. The cinema was getting busy but I couldn't sit next to her in the row made of two seats. That would have been too much. So I sat in the row in front of her.

And could I concentrate on the film? All the way through I was trying to grow a pair of eyes in the back of my head that could see if she was watching me.

The film, from what I could gather, was a very romantic one where the girl's lover has to die to show his love for her. Everyone came out of the cinema feeling uplifted and wistful. In front of the box office outside, couples kissed dramatically, their hair blowing in front of their eyes. Groups of lads stood around and laughed, pretending it hadn't affected them. But I knew.

The girl walked out and I followed her for a while. She was quite short with short hair. I like girls with short hair. I think it makes them look French. She had a friendly face; petite and simple features. There was just something about her. I went my own way and as I forked off down another street I caught her glance over at me just before the street buildings blocked my view.

It was really windy that night and I felt like I had stepped into the film. Empty tin cans rattled down dark alleys. I put a dramatic, ponderous expression on my face and paused while the camera closed in on my eyes. A long shot followed me over the railway bridge. As I made my way up the street the camera panned along and I disappeared then reappeared, disappeared then reappeared under the harsh city street lights.

The next time I visited the cinema I went into the bar there to get a drink before the film started. She was there standing at the bar! She turned and watched me walk to the bar. She recognised me and smiled.
"Hi," she said. Her cheeks dimpled when she spoke.
"Hi," I answered.
"What are you here to see?" she asked.
"I'm here to see you!" I said. Would she slap me across the face or turn in disgust?
She laughed. Dimples.
"Sorry," I said, "I've seen you here a few times haven't I? What did you think of that last martial arts epic?"
"Ooh, I felt all romantic and windswept after that!" she said.
"Me too!" I laughed.

Me too. These are words that mean so much at the start of a relationship. Me too. Each me too is like a woolen stitch in a big comfy cardigan that's being knitted in time for Winter. It doesn't matter how small the me too is, it still holds the cardigan together.
"I like cornflakes."
"Me too!"
"I prefer radio to television."
"Me too!"
"I sometimes bath instead of shower."
"Me too!"

"Well," she said, "this film looks good."
"Yeah, I've been looking forward to this for a while."

We sat down and talked about film. She was animated when she talked and she bobbed up and down in her seat when she got excited about a film that she remembered. Her dark eyes sparkled in the dim bar light.

A bell rang loudly to tell us the film was about to start.
"Shall we sit together?" she asked as we stood up from the table.
"Yeah, that'd be great"
"There's a couple of seats at the back, near the fire exit, where I always sit," she said. "They're my favourite."
"Me too!" I said.

Me too.

And, for that night at least, the two cinema seats at the back of the theatre, near the fire exit, were both taken.

Christmas come early!

2005-09-15T13:48:00.000+01:00

Christmas came early for me this morning when I got a package of books that I'd ordered from Canongate.

I can't do links or photos at the moment so you'll just have to use your initiative!

My favourite author is Richard Brautigan. I think he's great. I'd been re-reading his books lately and so I decided to get "You Can't Catch Death" which was written by his daughter Ianthe Brautigan. It's her way of trying to come to terms with her father's suicide. Should be really interesting.

I also got three books on a three for two offer on the Canongate website:

"The Flood" by David Maine - the hardback version which has got the best book jacket design I've ever seen!
"Anthropology" by Dan Rhodes. I went to a reading by another favourite author, Jim Dodge, and Dan Rhodes gave a reading too. He's a Brighton author and was really funny. Quite a dry humour.
"One Pill Makes You Smaller" by Lisa Dierbeck. Cause it just sounds good!

And then I got the free book of the month which was "Children of Albion Rovers" which is a book of short stories by various Scottish authors. I probably won't read this though. I love getting a free book but I never get round to reading it. Even though it looks really good. I'm just stupid!

One of the hardest film titles to pronounce ever

2005-09-15T13:25:00.000+01:00

Went to see 'Me & Your & Everyone We Know' last night. Enjoyed it. It's quite a quirky little film and deals with some unexpected subjects.

But everytime I tried to get someone to come to the pictures with me I had to say the name of the film and it just came out kind of slurred on my tongue. I tried to text a friend to come and see it but gave up halfway through trying to find the second ampersand.

There's another word that comes out slurred: 'Ampersand'. I was going through pages of corrections on the phone yesterday and every time my client came up against an ampersand she just gave up halfway through: "Can you change that 'and' to an ampersaahr...?". But then the same client made a garble noise instead of a sentence yesterday and expected me to know what it meant. She said: "Yes, make that change. Whatever. Garbalabalabalabala."

Anyway 'the film' was good. But the lead character was a bit annoying. And it's funny because the lead character is played by the director and it's obviously an autobiographical film. So did she give herself an slightly annoying character to play or is she just slightly annoying? Her acting wasn't that good either. It's still a good film though. Very watchable. Go see it!

We met on the internet

2005-09-14T13:00:00.000+01:00

We met on the internet,
Or should it be "through the net"?
Or "via the world wide web"?
She eventually fell through the net.

It wasn't love at first sight -
It was on the internet -
And there was no raging storm
The day we met. A bit torrent maybe.

And though our eyes couldn't meet
Across the dancefloor,
For there was none, just a screen,
And our fingers touched nothing but keyboard,

And though she could have been he,
Lesbian, psychopathic,
Homocidal or ugly,
(We hadn't swapped photos at this point in),

And though this type of meeting
Had happened to me before
Without success, (she was short
And dumpy and conversation ran out),

And though I should have steered clear
And though the odds were stacked up
And through the net she became
I knew that something was there.

Our emails became lengthy
Over the weeks and then months.
Musical tastes were discussed
Which led us to a flesh and blood meeting.

A gig. A bottle of rum.
Two tents which turned into one.
A whole weekend in the sun.
A million first dates rolled into one.

And though we'd only just met,
(Apart from the months online),
I knew a month down the line
We'd still be in each other's arms at night.

And though we lived miles apart -
Opposite ends of the land -
The phone line and internet
Kept us together until the weekends

When we would get together,
Trying each end of the land,
Trying each side of the bed,
Until some compromise had to be reached

In the form of a shared flat
Where we could see each other
In just under a minute
Rather than in just under two weeks time.

But distance had pulled my strings
And rum and sun had fooled me
And the internet stung me.
She eventually fell through the net.

The 'We met' Song

2005-09-14T10:47:00.000+01:00

We met
In the fading light of a Monday
On the bus journey ride to the old town
Where the jazz band were playing a ragtime
To the parasolled day-trippers there
We sat on the wall drinking red wine
Out of cups that she bought from the pound shop
And the lanterns that swung from the branches
Lit up the night

[CHORUS]
And we talked
Of the places we'd been and the places where we ought to go
And we laughed
When we talked of how we'd only met just an hour ago

[INSTRUMENTAL]

She said
That she knew of a place by the harbour
That opened 'til late in the morning
So we slowly walked out of the old square
As the bells of the clock tower rang out
And the seagulls that fed in the harbour
Flew over our heads in the darkness
And the fishermen sat on their boxes
'Til late in the night

[CHORUS]
And we talked
Of the old flames that burned us, the things that they'd said and we'd done
And we laughed
About things that we said that we'd never get into again

[INSTRUMENTAL]

We sat
At a table in Fisherman's Cottage
And ordered the dish of the day
While the waiter supplied us with starters
We watched as the tide turned away
And the tables around us they emptied
And the kitchen staff shouted for dishes
We ordered two coffees to take out
And stayed up all night

[CHORUS]
And we talked
Of the night that we'd spent and the feelings we'd better not say
And we laughed
As the night that we'd spent was now turning to another day

[INSTRUMENTAL]

We said
Goodbye in the harbour that morning
As we kissed by the calm of the water
I walked back to town through the quiet streets
And wandered back down to the square
Where the parasol tables were empty
And the jazz band were playing no more
The seagulls were picking up litter
Dropped in the night

[INSTRUMENTAL]

Notebook fever

2005-09-12T13:26:00.000+01:00

My obsession with buying webspace has also manifested itself in buying notebooks. I'm just mad about them!

I finally finished one notebook the other week. It was a big A4 hardbacked one that lasted two years. I filled it with my crap: magazine cutouts, stickers, half-written songs etc. But mostly it got filled with my angst-ridden feelings about girls. When I split up with someone recently, the first thing I did was go to my notebook and scribbled down about five pages worth of my head.

I made myself another notebook out of half-used printer paper but it's really annoying because every other page can only be used for sticking things on because it's already got something printed on it. Some random characters where the printer's gone wrong or a wine label that I've designed.

So I went out at the weekend to buy another A4 notebook. And while I was doing that I found these really small hardbacked, spiral-bound notebooks and I just had to buy one!

I'm reading Richard Brautigan's 'An Unfortunate Woman' at the moment which he wrote in the 166 pages of a loose-leaf notebook, filling the pages until he ran out of space. And I wanted to do the same. So I got the idea to fill the small notebook with short stories all starting with the words "We met". I actually did some writing too! And I really enjoyed it. I'll post some of the stories soon.

But I've still got other notebooks! I've now got:

1. An A4 hardbacked notebook - finished
2. A tiny hardbacked, spiral-bound notebook - half finished
3. A new A4 hardbacked, spiral-bound notebook - empty
4. An A5 hardbacked notebook - started, from both ends, with a huge gap in the middle
5. An A5 hardbacked, spiral-bound, lined recycled notebook - half-empty, I bought this in Leeds to occupy myself on the train ride home
6. A home-made recycled A4 notebook - a quarter full

And I just went to the post office and looked all through the notebooks to try and find an un-ruled one. Luckily, I didn't.

Monday morning

2005-08-22T19:31:00.000+01:00

Hello and welcome to yet another blog!

I've got my website, beesnthings, in two different servers. I just bought beesnthings.co.uk in the hope that it would get me inspired to update it more often. But did it work?

So here's the blogging arm of beesnthings. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this one going.

It's going to be a bit sparse to start off with until I learn how to use the thing. But there's plenty of crap in my head that needs to come out here. And I'm self-employed so I've got plenty of 'spare' time to waste!